Somedays are just ok..

Well, there are ups and downs in life. That is inevitable. I'm having an eh day today. That's ok though. i think it's best to meditate and get back in the vortex. That is where all my magic exists. Wow. Just saying that? It already calls me back into the vortex. Exciting! Meditation is the path to a more quiet mind and thus the path back into the vortex. Really, I don't have much more to say today. Well, brief is not always bad.

Keep it simple and sweet.
It can't be beat.

Connections...

Can I just say that it feels so good to have Law of Attraction line me up with amazing people on a daily basis? I feel so privileged to share the time I do with these people. The world is filled with amazing and wonderful people. Ahhh. Life is so beautiful when we allow it to be so for us! I can see that so clearly now! So much is going right and well in life that it overwhelms anything that we perceive to be going wrong. Ahhh... I feel blessed indeed from where I sit now! The well-being in my life is truly profound. I am loved, abundant, and headed where I need to be headed to. Life is a perfect unfolding even when I see only imperfection. So good to be alive!!!

I'm free. Born free, die free. Live free.

Morning thoughts...

I typically don't write this blog first thing in the morning, but that is how it worked out today. I sit here sipping my morning coffee and thinking about life. I think not with fear but with joy about what is ahead of me. I feel in some ways that I have unlocked secrets for myself. I'm so blessed to have undergone the recent changes I have undergone. Life is not always easy, but it has a way of giving us exactly what we need to grow into who we want to be. I never thought I would say this, but I'm grateful that I've been so alone lately. Aloneness is an amazing gift. I have clarified so many things in my time alone and the space away from others. That is a very, very good thing. Creativity and insight have bubbled up when no one is around. I'm grateful for having my own magnificent apartment. Yesterday was my day alone and it was magnificent. Well, mostly day alone. I used to be so afraid of being alone, so uncomfortable. Now, I wear it like a second skin. I think all of us are happier when we can just be with ourselves. So glad I learned this one so young!

A single drop drips down the glass
Salty, salty tear of regret.
Lamenting that it isn't more, isn't different.
So what? Maybe it shouldn't be more.
Things have unfolded as the have
And who am I to argue with reality?
Sometimes, I wonder if this isn't the source of misery.
Sometimes I'm sure it's the source of our misery.
Go like a lamb before the slaughter.
Something tells me my surrender can save me yet.
There is no death, only rebirth into another form.
Endless chances to play another role.
So, since time is on my side, I'll just choose
Without the fear or choosing wrong
Because I have an eternity to get it right.

Getting up to speed

I feel sometimes like I'm on a roller coaster of my own emotions. Thank goodness for the grounding meditation practice I've established. I don't know what I'd do without it. It keeps me sane in this reality. It helps me to tell a different story from what I'm observing. Life used to be so conditional. Every day of meditation seems to take me further and further along the path of just letting life be what it is. I feel blessed for each day. Every new day is a miracle in and of itself. I feel so privileged to be on the path I'm on and to have the wonderful people I have in my life. I feel blessed for all the amazing people in my life. I love my apartment and cats. I love the healthy food I get to eat everyday. I love the music and art that fill my life. I'm just happy in this moment. I know I won't always be happy, but I know that I can always get back there sooner than later.

The mists rise and fall dreamily.
I cannot see much past my face.
But... I trust enough to take another step, and another, and another.

Gratitude

I feel like today is a day for gratitude. I had a powerful realization today about a pattern I wasn't looking at. I want to voice my gratitude to all the ones that helped me to learn this. It has shifted my entire outlook on life. I thought of myself as one that didn't hold onto things, but I realized today that I was wrong in one sense. I realized that I have held onto failed romances for a long long time. I didn't do it in an obvious or pronounced way, but I still did it. How can something new come into my life if I'm already occupied with the past? I began to wonder... How many times have I been out with someone and talked about someone from the past? How many times have I compared the person I was with to the old flame? I wouldn't want to be on the other side of the table at such a date. Really, I was never able to be present with who I was with at any given point because my mind was already subtly elsewhere. How sad is that! Well, today was the day I gave that up. I realized how insane and damaging it is to focus on the what ifs and the failed romances. I also realized that it was a little crazy to sit there and play out such a scenario as if I had been with this person. I assumed all sorts of things about them and about how it would be with them. In reality? I had no idea because it never happened. Einstein said: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." This is exactly what was going on in my head. It was like a never ending loop. A one track CD on endless repeat. Thank God I control the mix and can finally put something new on to play instead. That is the beauty of life! I realized too that non-attachment also means not getting attached to outcomes and not building my lovely castles in the sky. Plain and simple, when I meet someone, I know little about them and little about where things are going. If I can just stay comfortable in the not knowing, I think things will unfold as they should in a perfect way. That may mean love, and it may mean just a fleeting experience with something learned and gained. The only way to really know is just go with it and find out!

Not knowing kills me.
I want to open that damned flower!
I can't wait anymore.
I feel like a child the night of his birthday.
I know some amazing gift is coming my way
But... I just don't have the patience to wait.
I want to peek underneath the lid!
Just one glance please!
Let me shake the box!
But my mom says no, no, no.
She smiles that elusive, secretive smile.
"You'll find out tomorrow dear."
Ugh! I want tomorrow now.
I want the manifestation without the journey.
I want the reward without the work.
It's childish, but I'm a child dammit.
I didn't sign up for all this waiting.
I've almost forgotten what I was waiting for.
Psh. I'll cheat the universe and see for myself.
Once I know what to expect, then I can wait and be content.
Can't you just for once let me make the rules?
After all, it's my life.

Just be

I had a reminder today to just keep being who I'm being and doing what I'm doing. Life has been joyous to say the least the past little while. I love that through deliberate intent, I've been able to retell my life story as I want it to be. I quested today for knowledge on what could allow my lover in vibrational escrow to come to me. The answer? Just keep being the joyous and authentic person I truly am deep inside. It reminded me that there is nothing I need to do, nothing I need to prove, no test I need to pass. Life isn't a test. Life is a journey of expansion. Well, at least I can say that's what it is for me. It's not about proving my worthiness of love. I'm worthy of love now, and I have so much love in my life now. I took a deep breath and let go of my need to control how things manifest for me. It's not my job. The universe can handle all the cooperative components I'm pretty sure ;) So, my commitment is to sit back, get happy, and watch my life unfold perfectly.

There's nothing out there
That isn't already in here.
What I seek is really within
So, let me turn in again.

Telling a different story

I have realized that the Law of Attraction is so real. It is visceral to me. I can feel its influence in every aspect of my life. My life has gone from amazing to miraculous over the last few weeks. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel. I want to take a moment and be grateful for what I have and what I do not yet have. I am grateful for all the kindred spirits in my circle of friends. I realized that few have the kind of love and support that I do. Some people have a best friend. I have many. All of my friends are special and precious to me in different ways. I love how supportive they are and how they all show me how to shine. Just know that all of you are loved! I'm grateful for my career as a Vocal Instructor. Can I tell you how amazing it is that I get to help people discover their voice? I love almost every moment of my work! It is truly amazing. My students are yet another magnificent gift. They all come with different voices and styles, but they all bring me joy with the music they make. I'm grateful for a thriving studio. It seems that i get more and more calls everyday. That is yet another blessing. I'm grateful for an abundance of time to spend rediscovering myself each day. I'm grateful for my music and art. I not only get to help others find their voice, I get to use my own to perform and share. I'm grateful for my band, Le Cygne, and the outlet it gives me to share and create. I'm grateful for the Teachings of Abraham. They have helped me regain my sense of humor in many a challenging situation. I'm grateful for all the mentors and teachers I've had along the way that have been part of my growth as an artist, singer, healer, teacher, and channel. You all are priceless to me! Most importantly of all, I'm grateful for myself and that I get to be here in this moment writing this blog. Being David is nothing short of miraculous! I can't wait to see where that takes me!

Green glass doors part gracefully
Revealing a goddess.
She smiles and shines like the sun
I would touch her with my rough hand
I know she'd ease my troubled mind.
Love, love, love, she whispers.
It is her mantra, her song to me.
She reminds me of its echo everywhere.
From the bugs buzzing around my head
To the asphalt jumble we call the city.
It is always there if you look for it.
You don't need me to be happy.
My love is everywhere, always.
It's only your job to receive it.