Meditation and Poetry

Well, here I sit at Two Creek Coffee shop in the avenues sipping on a Decaf Americano. My thought today comes in part from Buddha by way of Osho. "Love yourself then watch." I meditated on this both today and last night. I was intrigued to notice that without the self-love or self-acceptance side of the equation, meditation becomes incredibly uncomfortable. I found myself staring into a vast abyss where all I thought I was disappeared. With nothing to fill the space back up, my mind quickly jumped in to distract me or placate me. I no longer was meditating but lost in the chatter in my head: the stories, the dramas, the opinions, the judgements, etc. When I got back to the simple point of loving and accepting myself, the storm of my mind was miraculously calmed. It made me begin to wonder. Are we as a society so terrified of quiet and empty space because we are afraid of this void? The void is always there whether we acknowledge it or not. We all think if I have enough friends, if I get enough romantic/sexual attention, if I make enough money, if I can make myself enduring enough or big enough, then I will be content! What if we already are enough and we have just forgotten? I found this to be true for myself in meditating today. All of my anxieties and fears are based in the "I'm not enough" paradigm. When I allowed appreciation of me to seep in, I suddenly could just sit and be. It's only day 5 and already such amazing shifts! It will be exciting to see how the rest of this year plays out.

So for my poem today, I'm going to write a sonnet. I did always love reading Shakespearean sonnets. So, here goes...

I looked within to pierce the endless dark

But saw too late the error of my pride

For I had boasted "this is but a lark"

Not knowing yet the danger there inside.

I lost myself upon the raging seas

My ship near sank beneath titanic waves.

No compass, map can guide me to safety.

I'll drown a fool, no angel cares to save.

But a ray of grace shone down to light the way.

To free me from my self-inflicted plight.

A voice said let go and you'll win the day.

Storm clouds will part to make way for the light.

The tempest's ever but a thing you choose.

To win this war you first must learn to lose.