Tests of enlightenment

Well, today brought me that test of how "enlightened" I really am. I've been meditating for about a week now. I mean, I should be there already right? Nirvana and whatnot... Ram Dass said: "If you think you're truly enlightened, go spend a weekend with your parents." In my case, the test of enlightenment came in the form of an evil (and might I add ugly) white Mercedes SUV intent on running me, poor innocent cycling me, down! Said evil driver honked at me as I was legally, yes legally, biking in the left lane on 300 South. Now, an enlightened person probably would not have flipped him off and shouted at him (which I did.) At that point the guy swerved around me and almost hit me. Almost immediately afterwards sanity kicked back in. Ok, after a few more choice words sanity kicked back in and I decided to just let it go. The point of my story is that I realized practicing non-violence includes words, gestures, criticism, gossip, etc. Sure, I may not be one to ever raise a fist against someone, but I do my share of verbal sparring and "gesturing" directed at irritating people. Then I really got to thinking... I don't know this guy or girl's story. (I didn't see who was driving the hulk of metal.) They may have been on the way to the hospital, they may be late for an important appointment, they may have thought I was in the wrong in this case, etc. I realized that I may have even provoked this person by flipping them off. In fact all I accomplished was to reinforce in this person's mind how right they were and how wrong I was. The creaky hamster wheel kept turning in my head... This person is creating their own reality. I'm creating mine. They couldn't have come into my reality if I were not in some way allowing it. Any of my friends can probably tell you I complain about the "bad" drivers in Utah and their blatant disregard for the safety of pedestrians and cyclists. Wow. I created this. So, what arose out of this for me is the desire to practice non-violence truly: gestures, words, self-directed criticisms, gossip, etc. Also, I realized that I need to take my power back and stop complaining about the drivers in Utah. My attention to the bad ones keeps the bad ones in my space! So, sigh.... I am still far from enlightened. Maybe next week? We'll see! Now for the poem!

I decided to keep it short and sweet for today...

Glassy green eyes cry,

And I hear an implicating sigh.