A needed conversation late into the night...

Well, last night brought me a conversation that was so needed. I love my friends. That's all I can say. This conversation reminded me how important it is to let what doesn't serve go. Human beings always talk about what they would like to be different in their lives. (I include myself in the human being label) We talk of more love, better love, a perfect soul mate, success, riches, abundance, health/vitality, wellness, etc. Somehow though we aren't willing to give up what may be standing in the way of what we want. Sometimes it's a toxic friendship, a toxic lover, that junk food habit, our television watching addiction, sugar addiction, inability to moderate our drinking, etc. It can be many things and we'll justify why we need that thing or ignore our dependence. We become entangled and attached to the very thing that stops us. Like an upset 3 year old, we cling to that security blanket for dear life. What would life be without it? Too scary! Too unknown! No, it's better to stick to the known. Hey, we may not get everything we want that way, but at least we know what we'll get. So much safer that way. For me I realized that I tend to keep around romantic expectations that don't serve me. I'll meet someone I'm attracted to that really could never reciprocate my feelings and I'll keep my little rose colored reverie as a comfort blanket. Someday they'll see me. Someday they'll reciprocate. I realized how toxic and self-destructive this is last night. My attachment to people that could never work means I'm always entangled and frustrated. It wreaks total havoc on my vibration and prevents the person that can fully reciprocate my love from coming in. I made a decision. From now on, I will decide clearly and concisely. A person either can be that possibility or not. No more in-between prospects. It may seem a bit dogmatic, but I feel that life is waiting for us to decide. Without deciding, we cannot summon creative energy to us and we stagnate. I can definitely see how these energetic entanglements I create for myself cause my romantic life to be stagnant. So, here's to a new leaf! Turning it over.... ... .... Now!

I can choose to exit the maze of mirrors any time.
That disclaimer blares over and over again over the loudspeaker system.
But why? Being stuck and struggling is so familiar.
I've really never known life to be any other way.
So, why risk leaving my self-constructed maze when I may hate it more outside.
Nah, I'll stick to delusion and a shadow life.
Nothing ventured nothing lost.
That's my view and I'm sticking to it.
Besides, I have such amazing powers to criticize others from where I sit.
Heaven forbid I get out there and do worse than them.
I really don't think I could handle the caustic remarks directed back at me.
I'm fragile dammit. Don't people get that?
Who cares if they are? They don't matter anyway.
Safety is what I choose. Safety and self-delusion.
It's playing small. I get that. But I just wanna sit on my stump, my soap box
I want to preach and rail against people safely from my bubble of inaction.