Coming to terms with my humanity

So, I realized last night that I've been in major denial about my "darker" emotions. I sat watching a documentary called The Workshop and realized I have buried feelings of jealousy, pettiness, anger, and hatred. It was scary to see myself in the people in this movie! I realized that I do do jealous things. I'm just very secretive about them. Ha. But honestly? Yes. I check up on people on facebook, I ask carefully devised questions to find out if someone I'm dating has others in the picture. Sure, I play cavalier and disinterested. But deep down inside? I get jealous! Wow. It was freeing to own that! I realized that people out there aren't going to be interested in the cavalier, cool, fashionably disinterested me. That is just a veneer and a thin one at that. People want to know the flawed, imperfect, human David. That is the beauty of love: vulnerability. It's being human together. As much as I'd like to pretend, I still haven't ascended to enlightenment. I'm still a jealous, petty, and sometimes bitter human being. The nice thing is though that perhaps by owning this, I'll be able to transcend it. Watching the documentary last night made me realize that the first step is to articulate honestly and authentically what I'm feeling. Time to take what I learned as a performer and apply it in my life in general. Yay!!!! Poem time! I'm feeling visual today so let's write something with a visual form!

Vulnerability.

Scary and unknown.

The act has been going on too long.

But to shed the shell.

Be free of hell.