Listening

I sat today and pondered what it is to listen. I realized that I have been terrified of the idea of listening because I'm in some ways scared of what I may hear. I have feared listening truly to others because I might get lost in them. I have feared listening to myself because I thought I might hear the truth of my ugliness in the listening. I want to try experimenting this week with listening. I sit and wonder if my past loneliness and inability to manifest romance perhaps boils down to this fundamental avoidance of intimacy. Listening is how we become intimate with ourselves. Once we are intimate with ourselves, we are able to be so with others. I vow to cultivate intimacy with myself and others. I vow to listen more intently and to be with others truly. When I'm not listening, I'm obliviously avoiding something with someone. This was an interesting day. Also, this was my first Sunday of solitude. I did meet with one person and sent one text message today, but mostly I've been alone. I've enjoyed the time. I feel renewed and refreshed. I think that a day of solitude to visualize, meditate, and contemplate is going to be an amazing practice for me. Perhaps it will add to my ability to listen.

Listen to the whispering trees
And hear the humming bees.
Wander among the wooded glades
Untouched by plow or spade
The solitude will fill your cup
The quieting down will raise you up.
To your true divinity.