Meditation as I have said before typically is very confrontational. I have had to really face down some intense garbage. I say garbage because that is what false beliefs and programs are. For me I have become acquainted with "I'm ugly," "I'm not good enough," "I'm unlovable," and a slew of others. The funny thing is that these are decisions I made a long time ago based off of something small that happened. Meditation has given me the ability to "listen" for when they come up. We all harbor so many of these false beliefs: that we are deeply flawed and somehow unworthy. I now see humanity through new eyes. I see how every defensive, petty, angry person is trying so badly to hide these beliefs from the rest of us. We go around spending our energy denying what we deeply fear is true and trying to prove otherwise. I now see the fiscal overachiever as someone trying to prove so badly that they are worthy and capable. I see the vain, narcissistic fashion model as that child that somehow felt ugly or dirty. Perhaps with enough external validation and approval, they will finally be beautiful and clean. This isn't to say that this is universal. There are people with money and power that aren't trying to prove anything. There are people of extraordinary beauty that are truly confident and sure of themselves. It just gave me a unique perspective on my fellow man. Let's take it one step further. When I observe anything in another person that displeases me, there is something about what I'm observing that hits to close to home. Perhaps that opinionated prick is reminding me of my own opinionated stubborn nature. That self-absorbed or insecure show-off is showing me how much I still rely on external validation to know "I'm ok." So, that was rather stream of consciousness. Well... Life is but a dream after all, right?
Poem time!
Sunshine is more precious than jewels.
I forget that it gives me my life.
Rain is more soothing then any flattery.
I don't see the shower as a blessing when walking in it.
My shadow pieces are my beauty.
Without my dark, how could I know my light?
The ugliness in me and the world is priceless.
Beauty can't exist without ugliness beside it.
Perhaps I can give up my conditional view.
Let me welcome in the stark contrast.
The contrast shows me the way to bliss.
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