Pollution...

Well, today has been an interesting day to say the least. I find that meditation helps me to deal with pollution. The air is awful today. My thought for today that arose in my meditation had to do with how we perceive ourselves. I recently have gone through some strict and austere changes in my lifestyle. One change in particular has given me powerful insight into society’s image of perfection and beauty versus self-love and self-acceptance. I wonder if we all wouldn’t feel much better about ourselves if we weren’t bombarded by so many unattainable images. Who says male or female beauty is supposed to look a certain way? I rediscovered that all of our romantic and sensual pursuits should be geared towards either self-appreciation or appreciation of another. Intimacy can actually be a way of acknowledging the god/goddess within ourselves and another. I think that this is what love and sex should be about. I guess I certainly can’t speak for everyone, but I’m loving how much I’m loving my physical temple (or body) and spirit lately. I definitely wish I could give this to everyone, but we’re all on our own journeys of self-discovery and exploration! That’s part of the beauty of life.

Calm, centered,
Anchored, I’m here.

Click...

So, I had a major realization yesterday. I realized that I have to always be in control. I have a fear of what would happen in a situation where I am not in total control. This is deep rooted for me, and I realized also that it meant I could never allow myself to fully be in love with someone. Wow. I had this come up a lot recently: "Love is a participatory emotion." Alright, I thought, I know what this means. I didn't realize that what it meant for me is that love requires a certain level of vulnerability. Love requires trust and confidence in another. These are things that terrify me deep down inside. Surrender myself to someone else fully? I could never have done that. I've decided to sit with this as I meditate this week and see what emerges. It was a scary thought in many ways. I think I could easily have spent the rest of my life playing it safe and being careful. Love can't happen under those circumstances. So, here I am. I am open to love. I am willing to surrender. I'm willing to place 100% confidence in another. I'm willing to open myself to the possibility of love even if that is scary right now.

The stands are such a safe place.
The field? Another story altogether.

The game..

So, I played the game again yesterday with some friends. What is the game you may ask? Well, in summary it's a game that plays like a game while simultaneously allowing you to explore psychologically. I have to say... It was quite fun playing and delving into some questions that have been on my mind lately. The conclusion I came to, is I need to start being who I am 100% without apologies or regrets. Also, it's no longer my job to worry all the time if my actions will hurt other people's feelings. It's just too much damn work! No matter how vigilant and careful you are, someone may still get upset about something you say. It's better to just chill and not worry about it. I can see that now. Part of that means me holding me accountable. I need to be aware when I go into my people pleasing bit and step back out of it. I definitely had to work with that today. Ahhh. It felt good. I must say. So, no more Mr. Pushover David. Watch out world!

A million stars glitter above,
Reflecting back my divine love.

Gratitude

Today, I just wanted to express my gratitude for life. There is so much that is wonderful and beautiful about life. That's basically it! I am grateful for God's incredible and varied creation on this planet Earth. Ahhh.

I'm content...

Changes come and keep coming

So, I woke up today at 8 to go running and do pilates. It was a different experience for me. I tend to enjoy sleeping in till 9 or 10. I've decided that I really want to make this a daily practice. I love the idea of being up at 8. Perhaps when that becomes comfortable, I could move to waking up at 7. Hmmm. I find that being up early gave me a ton of energy for me day. I also like the idea of running five days a week at 8. Tomorrow, I will be up at 8. Perhaps after a month of this I'll change over to being up at 7. We shall see!!! On a side note, I've also realized that I want to listen more and talk less. I find myself being too verbose in many situations. I think a balanced, happy person knows when to talk and listen. So friends, I'm giving you permission to call me out on this!

Ebb and flow,
That's a happy life.
Give and take,
No more strife.

Lesson for the day..

I need to learn to be confident in my truth. I've realized that lately I tend to sometimes be scared of owning up or being honest. That is about to change starting today! I need to be who I am with no apologies. Not only do I owe it to others, I owe it to myself. I know that I have my past, but that's the past. We'll just leave it at that. From here on out, I'm the possibility of honesty!

Be true to you,
Or you can't be to any other.

Becoming the man I desire to be

Lately, I've gone through some major, major life changes. I won't even list them all here but they centered around diet, health, my spiritual well-being, and my life direction. It is exhilarating to watch who I am becoming. Seriously a magical shift! I realized that I need to be the change I would see in the world. It's interesting. As I shift, I will draw to me the love that I can co-create a space of love and a family with that will last forever!

Love is eternal,
If we'd let it be.

Almost to day 100, wow.

Well, the raw diet is already making a difference. I've been loving how I feel! I feel light as a feather, focusing is 100 times easier, and I honestly feel more grounded. I haven't had this much energy since I was a kid! It's an amazing feeling. Also, my meditation practice has been coming along nicely. I've decided I need to add more time to simply contemplate. I love the idea of meditating this way for answers.

The only answers worth having are self-taught.

Cleaning up my life in preparation

I see now so clearly the damage I've been doing to myself with the lifestyle I've lived. I've gorged myself on poisonous food, poisonous beverages, and fowl chemicals. Alcohol and caffeine count as well. I have purified my life of all the heavy and toxic. My body simply is overflowing with energy. It's only been a few days but I feel much more alive and invigorated than I have in a long time. It's truly magnificent to watch this shift. My voice is more beautiful than it's ever been, my body is returning to balance and health. I know now that I will realize the body I have envisioned for myself. I see that the love I have wanted waits on me becoming the man worthy of that love. A man of meditation and reflection. A yogi. A man fit of spirit, body, and mind. A man free of corrupting foods, beverages, and substances. A man not ruled by his sexual nature. A man committed to co-creating a space of love with his beloved that will last an eternity. A man prepared to be the father his children deserve. A man not afraid to be honest. A man that revels in his aloneness and yet enjoys his connectedness with others. It's exciting to watch this magnificent me be born!

If I betray myself,
Why would anyone stand up for me?

Detox

So, I've begun transitioning to eating completely raw. Literally almost everything I ate today is raw. I think that yesterday was a rough day because my body was detoxing. I am excited to see how my health and well-being shifts with this dietary change. I really love how I feel today. It is an awesome feeling! Even my voice has been better since going raw. Also, I've given up caffeine and alcohol as part of my new lifestyle. I can't put into words how much better I feel!

Happiness is a choice from moment to moment,
My joy is dictated by my actions.
I must follow my truth.

Sometimes..

Things are very very good. Sometimes they are so-so, and other times not so good. I guess my thoughts today have been about the ups and downs of life. Only my judgement makes them anything other than occurrences or moments in time. I don't really feel like writing much else today, but I feel like there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going to leave it at that!

Sometimes...

Slacking lately

So, I fell out of my routine of doing this blog daily and making sure to meditate exactly an hour each day. I want to write this blog as a reaffirmation of this intention. I have definitely felt the effect of less meditation on my life. I want to get back into my routine. One hour a day is necessary for me to function at my optimum. Glad I said this!

Get down, fall over, pick yourself up!

Start again!

Thoughts for the day..

I feel that today is the day I get to do something nice for myself. Self-care is such a good thing. I also realized that when I can be in a neutral place, life unfolds in a miraculous way. I recently played "the game" with some friends again. The game is a journey based off of the Tarot that is fun while triggering insight at the same time. What I learned is that I tend to either go to worst case scenario or best case scenarios in my head. When I can just let what is be what it is, I am free! I find that I am happy, eager to live and enjoy, and that I am free of entanglement with others. I am free to be truly connected to others without any expectations! It is marvelous. On a side note, the garden is progressing nicely. I'm going to anchor in the window boxes today. My space of love is unfolding now!

When I can be without projecting,
Life unfolds perfectly.