Sabatical

The power of now has caused me to realize that life isn't about achieving anything. Life is about being in each moment. Goals and aspirations should never take precedence over the moment. On that note, I'm going to take a break from the blog. I've never allowed myself to not have goals and future aspirations. I've never made a practice of being fully here now. Time to allow myself for the first time in 24 years to just coast for a while. This may last a week, it could last a year. I'm not sure what will happen, but I know that I want to explore this for a bit. I'm sure I'll write soon :)

David

True Love

I've been reading The Power of Now lately and it has led to some incredible insights. I wanted to share one of them today. I have realized that true love happens in a state of presence. I have been single for a long time now and sometimes I feel like I should be in a relationship. Reading this book made me realize that I would just take my unhappy self with me right into that relationship. Sure, it might seem good for a while but eventually it would break down because of my underlying unhappiness. What I need to do is be present to love and happiness now. What a relief! I no longer need to search or look for something else to make me happy. I have the opportunity to experience peace and well-being now. Ahhh. So good!

See the flower.
Smell it.
Bask in the radiance of its being.
All of this is God.

Honesty and Presence

Well, today is a beautiful day. I had a realization this morning that a simple combination of honesty and presence will 9 times out of 10 get us what we want in a far more effective way than anything else. The paradox here is that when you're honest and fully present making a request, you've let go of wanting or needing the outcome to go a certain way. Confusing? Maybe. It makes sense to me in this moment though!

Be here now!
You might miss out
On the meaning of your life.

Presence

Today I'm thinking a lot about presence as a lasting source of happiness. I really am starting to believe that we have the power to be content in any moment. It's a lie of our mind that says otherwise. So, for today, I'm going to watch as my mind comes up and starts talking. It will probably be most of the time. That's ok! :) Watching something means that it no longer is occurring with me completely unaware. This should be an interesting day!

Fly me away today,
Take me back to here and now.
Fly me back from there
To be here.

Presence

My new game is going to be called presence. I've been reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and it has reawakened a desire in me to tame my mind. I guess I lost sight of that somewhere in my meditation practice. Really, that is the goal of meditation. It gives me hope that I am awakened now in this moment. I may not be the next, but all I really have is now anyways.

Now, now, now, now, now!

Dreaming many dreams

Wow. I remembered 8 separate dreams last night! Freaking amazing! I feel so good about that :) Ahhh. I have noticed that the dreams seem to be communicating valuable lessons to me. One big thing that has been coming through is my need for independence and freedom to pursue my vision. I realized that I don't really want to be tied down to someone else's expectations for me. Right now, since I'm self-employed, I have a great deal of freedom to choose my life. I love that! Such a wonderful thing! Also, the other thing I realized is that with this seasonal change I need to change up my morning meditation. I'm going to start doing a half hour of yoga each morning instead of my usual sitting meditation. I think the added warmth from a mini power and core practice is just what my body needs during this time of hibernation and rest. Got to keep balanced!

The frosted peaks beacon me,
To unexplored heights of myself.
What will i learn?
What can they show?
"Climb," they say, "and find out!"

So, here I sit after my first gig being a nude model for an art class. Wow! What an incredible experience and opportunity. I am present now to an amazing love of my own body. What an amazing machine! Seriously. That and I'm present to how cold it is outside! Brrr. I want to focus my post today on dreams. What is the dream truly? The waking world or the sleeping one? Where do dreams begin and end? I am adding another practice on at this point in my life. I am going to begin keeping a super detailed dream journal of all my insights. I definitely believe that dreams are a powerful look into the subconscious and that by becoming more aware of my dreams, I will better be able to visualize and manifest the life I desire!

Dream a little longer,
Worry a little less.
Smile a little brighter,
Give nothing but your best.
This is it, your chance it now
Today is do or die.
Every moment past is a moment gone.
Don't let this one pass you by!

Why do we dream?

I've been thinking a lot about dreams today. I actually realized and remembered that once I was a vivid dreamer. Suddenly, I had a dream that conflicted so harshly with the religious beliefs of my family that I shut off the ability. I want to reawaken my inner dreamer. That dream was a warning for a frightened 7 year old that the spiritual path he was on would not bring him happiness. It was a call to explore other options. Today, many years later, I am finally ready to own my dreaming abilities and open myself back up to the magnificent guidance and beauty dreams contain. Time to be a dreamer and day dreamer again.

Dreams come true,
I know they do.
Who are you?
To say poo-poo!

hurry, hurry, hurry

Again, our unseasonal warm weather continues. I feel happy to be alive today. It is a beautiful day. My thoughts today are on the subject of patience. This morning seemed to be one of those mornings where little things kept going wrong. It’s easy to get frustrated when that happens. I definitely found myself getting irritated. I remembered something I have learned though: life is what we make of it. I wonder how often our irritation compounds the problem. It’s interesting to consider. The spilled coffee that wouldn’t have been spilled if we hadn’t been in such a hurry. I think it’s a similar issue with driving or being anywhere. When we are in a hurry, we slow ourselves down. The lesson today seems to be just relax and go with the flow of life. Alright, I’m ready to just float.

Sight unseen,
Still not bought.
I cannot swallow
What I was taught.
Look beyond
What you know.
If you truly wish
To grow.

Beautiful balmy November day

Today was absolutely amazing weather wise! Wow. I feel so blessed to have this last little bit of Spring. Yes indeed! I just want to say how grateful I am for all the amazing people in my life. You all inspire me so much! I cannot believe how much I learn from all of the people in my life on a daily basis. It feels really good to get back into a space of gratitude and joy. I love that life gives me an opportunity to get back here after any time that I get into a darker space. Thank you Universe!

Just for today,
Let's say some words of love
Rather than ones of hate.
I know sometimes it feels automatic
But do you rule the tongue or it you?

Perspective

What a beautiful day it is today! I can hardly believe it. It is so lovely that we have this little bit of Spring in November. I am thinking on this day about the pit I had sunk into about humanity and myself the last little while. Yes, there are forces outside of my control, but truly I am outside of the control of those forces if I choose to be. I think I'm going to head back to my optimistic and self-empowered approach to life. Time to stop complaining about life! If I believe life is awful, it will be awful. If I believe it is wonderful, it will be wonderful. Well, that was basically my thought for today. What else?

Sanity is relative,
Diseases of the mind come in and out of fashion.
The only absolute for me is my own perspective.

Well, today is a much better day than yesterday. I had an interesting run in with an angry guy at Smiths. The guy actually pushed me and punched my shoulder. It was very unexpected and random, but it taught me something valuable. I stood up to the guy rather than just walking away. I certainly wasn't going to hit him back, but I wasn't going to just cower away either. I guess the experience taught me that sometimes conflict will happen. I think there's a fine line between being confident and standing up for yourself and violence. It's interesting because I'm sure somehow in this guy's head, he felt the same thing towards me. I did something to him to spark the response I did. Hmmm. I think I will sit today with this. I definitely identify as a pacifist but it's interesting when situations like these arise. In the future I will probably avoid getting upset and rather just communicate to the person that their actions are unacceptable.

Violence begets violence.
Sorrow begets sorrow.
Peace where are you?
Do you whisper the secret to whereabouts?
I think I hear a soft voice say peace starts with me.

Emptiness

From time to time I have felt empty. Today has definitely been one of those days. It's not a bad sort of emptiness, it just is. I think I'll let the emptiness be today and see what it reveals to me.

I am that is all, nothing more, nothing less.