Saturday, May 22, 2010

Two thoughts and a poem

Ok, so today I had two ideas I wanted to express here. (They were both so good and juicy that I couldn't choose!) The first had to do with right brain versus left brain when it comes to the creative process. I had a profound realization about what has kept me blocked with finishing writing a novel: my damned logical brain. Logical brain wants the recognition, money, fame, etc. Logical brain looks at a novel in terms of order of operations: it's an assignment. Now, enter creative/abstract right brain. Writing a novel is just an extended telling of a story while simultaneously experiencing the story. Right brain self is just excited about the journey and not worried about the outcome. Creative brain is content to enjoy the process and not judge or weight the results. In short, creative me is dying to experience the story as it flows through me! I found this interesting. I wonder in how many ways my left brain holds me back as an artist. As a performer, I might be worried about the aesthetic of being on-stage and not concerned enough with just being me (however that shows up!) I realized that writing a novel is actually taking an incredible journey into my own imagination. I get to watch the story then transcribe it! How exciting is that? It's like reading a book and proclaiming an epic at the same time! I have never thought of creative writing as channeling before. It's interesting because I do consider my songs to be channeled from outside of myself. Why wouldn't a novel be the same?

Now on to the second idea. Beauty! I had an interesting realization sitting at an event today. It took me back to being an insecure, awkward teenager. I remember feeling so ugly and insecure. Then I got to thinking... What is beauty anyways? Is one star anymore beautiful then the next? Is the rainforest more beautiful than the desert. I find it interesting that we can appreciate a variety of beauty when it comes to our surroundings but not allow ourselves the same luxury when it comes to people. Why cannot everyone be beautiful simply for their humanity? Maybe I have a preference (which I do! I'm limited by my "self") but why not appreciate the plethora of choices that life has to offer. That brought me back to myself. I realized that I compared myself often to those around me in this sense without even knowing myself. I realized that I need to know my appearance and body as intimately as I would study any masterpiece. It is all part of self-love and greater self-acceptance. How could I accept someone else's appreciation if I don't share it or even understand it for me? Time for a photo shoot and some time in front of the mirror verbally appreciating everything I love about me.

Die, die, die!
Little fly!

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