Saturday, June 12, 2010

Effort versus Ease in Life...

There is this idea out there in the world that we must work hard for anything we want. No pain no gain. Overcome, conquer. Yada yada yada. I'm finding more and more that I just don't buy it. It's not that there won't be work, but when the work is out of love and alignment, it just doesn't feel hard. I've lately discovered this with my songwriting. I've written some of my best material in a matter of 30 minutes. I literally feel buzzed on energy when I'm writing from that place of alignment. The melodies, the lyrics, the rhythm... they all just flow through me like a river through it's stream bed. I've also noticed this same phenomenon when performing. I spend hours rehearsing each week, but I don't even notice. I'll sit down at the piano and start singing and literally two hours will zoom by in what feels like 10 minutes. I've begun thinking of this in terms of making a career out of my music. Do I really need to "struggle" and "work" to get myself out there? Do I need to prove my talent and worth? Nope. I just need to show up and do what I do. The right openings will come and out of my alignment, I'll walk through the doors that lead to success. I'm feeling that it will come in a series of "lucky" breaks. I know that I want a major record deal and that I want a band. I know that the right band members will already show up. I think I've already found one. The label deal will show up too. This isn't to say that I haven't been in action. The action just happens though. It's not work. That's the distinction. I think it would be hard to see the difference between this and plain "laziness" if you hadn't experienced it for yourself. But anyways...

I suffered for love and asked why
Love shouldn't be suffering.
Love is a joy, a choice.
I've sat in silence for friendship
I've bitten my tongue, but now see
Friendship that can't bear truth isn't friendship at all.
I thought myself strong and independent.
Free as the wind, but one tie makes me bound
I am a codependent period if I am codependent with even one.
I would strive for wholeness from inside out.
I would be un-needing of others so that I can freely choose them.
I would be my own source of joy and life
Only then can I share myself with another.
I see now that twisted love will quash real love's shoots
The needy, grasping vines will choke any healthy growth.
Though I am most fond of this weed, it must be pulled
For the sake of rare true love's exquisite bloom.
I have labored long to weed and prune the garden of my heart and soul
Now perhaps at last I may contemplate in the 11th hour
The harvest coming from my labors.
I am my own life's work.

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